so it is my other boyfriend's birthday today. for his birthday present i will need one jar of marshmallow fluff, a bottle of red wine, a trapeze and a little privacy. mmmm.

the other day lu asked me,
"mommy, does hubbard know you have SOOO MANY boyfriends?"
and i said,
"yes, i have alotta boyfriends but only one husband."

(thank god)

who knew? road kill makes good pets.

you know what kind of pet is the best kind of pet?  a dead one.  this is so gross, but i can't help but smile because this little girl loves her dead "sqi-real" sooo much.  i think she has a fine future ahead of her filled with black hair dye, kohl eyeliner and the cure.

The site is up! Check it out!

http://midwestartcatalyst.org/

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

almost as good as dill pickle chips

good for a cloudy day.

enough.

a recreation of the last time i was at wal-mart...in booty shorts...being followed by a shit-tastic rapper

so apparently mr. ghetto here was so blown-away by my recent performance at wal-mart the he has decided to try (in vain) to make that magic moment happen again with the help of some very distinguished ladies and a few wobbly carts.  all i have to say is, when one is booty dancing at a wal-mart in the middle of the day while being followed around by some random dude rapping about a chevy chase movie one should always sabotage the surveillance camera lest someone rip off your shit.

dully noted.

get glittered newt

dear newt,

please do not come to the newly elected "gayest/hippest" city in the nation and expect to preach your mess of ignorance without feeling the wrath.  the wrath of the glitter bomb! 

sincerely yours,

normal people

i think that little do-dad above the a in skarsgard stands for "hottest piece of man candy ever."

oh jebus. and my hubby thinks i have some strange habits.

my new favorite thing in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD is the show "mob wives" on vh1.  it is just another one of those shows where stupid women spend stupid cash on stupid things and get in stupid fights...but o mah gawd it is amazing!!!  it's like the real housewives meets the sopranos and i am in lurve.

this is renee. she is my favorite thing ev-a!  seriously watch yesterday's episode where bitch gets her face laser peeled. seriously.  i think i was switched at birth.  meet my mom.

happy birthday to my boyfriend. i will give you your present later. you probably don't have to wear your pants. thanks.

um yeah...i think i need "corrective jaw surgery" too!

i'm pretty sure if this is to correct some horribly restricting medical condition then i guess when i get all the fats sucked outta my upper arms then i can just refer to it as "corrective chicken wing removal."