Happy Holidays from The Hubbards!
We hope all is well with you and that another year has passed without any major catastrophes or incarcerations! Life in The Big Yellow House is flying by and everyday brings with it yet another reason to drink.
Mykel has not run off to join the circus yet. He is made of rubber and is able to subsist for months solely on cheese and bread but these aren’t apparently “circus-able” skills. He has taken up sword swallowing in the mean time. If that doesn’t work out he is praying every night that he will be kidnapped by a rogue band of Dungeons and Dragons players who travel the country-side rolling dice, wearing trench coats, mumbling incoherent made-up words and eating cheese.
Lily, much to her own dismay, has not been name Princess of the World and is therefore unable to rule the globe with a pink plastic Hanna Montana fist. She is still 8 years old instead of 16, which is surprising considering a) the amount of times she uses the word “like” in a sentence and b) the fact that she has a closet full of clothes and yet she HAS NOTHING TO WEAR!! We were all disappointed to find out that she did not make it into The Guinness Book of World Records for having lost the most baby teeth at once, that darn Khe Sahn from Vietnam beat her by one molar! At least we had a great model when it came to carving pumpkins this year!
Zander has not been recruited by the New York Ballet or the Solid Gold Dancers yet and we have to change his tear-soaked pillows each morning because of it. He is excelling in school when it comes to speaking out of turn and tackling friends in the hallway. We were saddened by the loss of Reddy the pet fish this fall but it was a great time to learn about The Circle Of Life and what happens to decomposing bodies left to fester in a bowl of water for a week. Zander may have found his calling after officiating over our first Toilet Funeral. He is also perfecting his Lego bombing skills, carefully camouflaging the razor sharp pieces of plastic buried in the carpet so as to keep Aaron and I on our feet, or at least hopping on one while the other bleeds.
Our cat Rex has learned to open doors but our lessons on starting the cars in the morning or picking up a gallon of milk at the store have fallen on deaf furry ears I’m afraid. He has also been unable to relocate the family of amorous squirrels that have moved into our attic and feel the need to “do that thing that married squirrels do” at 3 in the morning. Fortunately, I think Santa will be bringing Aaron a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas this year and if he doesn’t shoot his eye out first we will have an empty attic and full bellies soon!
Hoping that your Holiday Season is more fun than a clown on fire,
Aaron, Jordan, Mykel, Lily, Zander and Rex
