so it is my other boyfriend's birthday today. for his birthday present i will need one jar of marshmallow fluff, a bottle of red wine, a trapeze and a little privacy. mmmm.

the other day lu asked me,
"mommy, does hubbard know you have SOOO MANY boyfriends?"
and i said,
"yes, i have alotta boyfriends but only one husband."

(thank god)

who knew? road kill makes good pets.

you know what kind of pet is the best kind of pet?  a dead one.  this is so gross, but i can't help but smile because this little girl loves her dead "sqi-real" sooo much.  i think she has a fine future ahead of her filled with black hair dye, kohl eyeliner and the cure.

The site is up! Check it out!

http://midwestartcatalyst.org/

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almost as good as dill pickle chips

good for a cloudy day.

enough.

a recreation of the last time i was at wal-mart...in booty shorts...being followed by a shit-tastic rapper

so apparently mr. ghetto here was so blown-away by my recent performance at wal-mart the he has decided to try (in vain) to make that magic moment happen again with the help of some very distinguished ladies and a few wobbly carts.  all i have to say is, when one is booty dancing at a wal-mart in the middle of the day while being followed around by some random dude rapping about a chevy chase movie one should always sabotage the surveillance camera lest someone rip off your shit.

dully noted.

get glittered newt

dear newt,

please do not come to the newly elected "gayest/hippest" city in the nation and expect to preach your mess of ignorance without feeling the wrath.  the wrath of the glitter bomb! 

sincerely yours,

normal people

i think that little do-dad above the a in skarsgard stands for "hottest piece of man candy ever."